Find Balance, Please Yourself First
Every day, you start again, fresh and eager to do the tasks that you have been assigned and to make sure that you are ticking the boxes that have been asked of you. You’re aiming for that great review that leads to that promotion and you strive to make that happen.
Because you are great at your work you knock out project after project. Your teamwork is excellent. You work long days and turn in great work. You receive the promotion and they dangle another one in front of you, and you strive towards that next one.
Years go by and you start to realize that those the time you were planning on spending to leave your searing mark on the world have become some company’s “output,” or perhaps a few lines of fantastic code that will likely be revised out after some soon refactor. Regret sinks in over missed chances, lost ambitions, forgotten dreams.
There is a solution: please yourself first.
It’s not a simple solution. There are risks involved with pursuing your own path. It’s difficult to understand or determine what work is necessary on which timeline, to weigh the value of future gain against present pain. Knowing what weight to give personal vs. family vs. work at any given moment to achieve a particular outcome is a constant balancing act.
You’ll need to develop some heuristics to help assess your greatest short and long-term desires against your highest ambitions. And you’ll need a framework to guide both when to change and how to be pleased with the change. You’ll want a compass that points to what really feeds you.
Be careful of binary thinking. There is a lot of space between “working for the man” and “doing what I please.” You can do both. You can control your time and choose who gets what slices. In the long run, you benefit most from focusing on your own needs.
So, please yourself first. Know that what you choose now, today, and tomorrow can and should change as you grow or change your own path. Choosing for yourself isn’t about depriving others, it’s about being intentional in how you serve and where and who you serve.
Work out a process for evaluating short term pleasures versus medium term pleasures versus your longer term ambitions.
Because you are great at your work you knock out project after project. Your teamwork is excellent. You work long days and turn in great work. You receive the promotion and they dangle another one in front of you, and you strive towards that next one.
Years go by and you start to realize that those the time you were planning on spending to leave your searing mark on the world have become some company’s “output,” or perhaps a few lines of fantastic code that will likely be revised out after some soon refactor. Regret sinks in over missed chances, lost ambitions, forgotten dreams.
There is a solution: please yourself first.
It’s not a simple solution. There are risks involved with pursuing your own path. It’s difficult to understand or determine what work is necessary on which timeline, to weigh the value of future gain against present pain. Knowing what weight to give personal vs. family vs. work at any given moment to achieve a particular outcome is a constant balancing act.
You’ll need to develop some heuristics to help assess your greatest short and long-term desires against your highest ambitions. And you’ll need a framework to guide both when to change and how to be pleased with the change. You’ll want a compass that points to what really feeds you.
Be careful of binary thinking. There is a lot of space between “working for the man” and “doing what I please.” You can do both. You can control your time and choose who gets what slices. In the long run, you benefit most from focusing on your own needs.
So, please yourself first. Know that what you choose now, today, and tomorrow can and should change as you grow or change your own path. Choosing for yourself isn’t about depriving others, it’s about being intentional in how you serve and where and who you serve.
Work out a process for evaluating short term pleasures versus medium term pleasures versus your longer term ambitions.
And, if you’d like some help mapping out those ambitions, please schedule a free discovery session. I’d love to meet you and learn if we might be a fit to work together.